becoming a dad.

{old picture, but one of my favorites}

This guy is going to be a dad. And that's weird. And really neat. Weird...because he never wanted to be one. Neat...because he will be a wonderful one. He might not realize that yet, but I do. There isn't a single doubt in my mind. 

When we first started dating, two years ago, I knew he didn't want ever want children. But I'd liked him for so long, so I decided I still wanted to have a relationship. Before long we were talking about marriage, and I couldn't help but to throw kids into the mix. He always went along with it. But come that November...Josh decided we couldn't be together anymore, what with our different feelings about the future. Thankfully, the breakup never happened. I knew that the only person I wanted to spend my life with was Josh, and I couldn't give that up. Yes, I wanted a family, but I wanted a family with him. Honestly, I felt like anything else was settling. And deep down, I really believed that he still wanted what would make me happy. Eventually. 

So, now, here we are...the guy who never wanted kids and the girl who would love 10. (Yes, I'm serious.) And we're having a baby. 

The baby was a pretty big surprise. So, Josh's reactions have been totally understandable and reasonable.  He's totally supportive and great. But he's not really bursting with excitement, you know? But I get that. And I knew that's how he would be. Over time, he's becoming more into it. And at the first u/s I think it became a little more real for him. Afterwards, he told me, "I couldn't stop smiling, but I didn't know why." So, things like that let me know he loves the baby and cares about it. Totally. But I think it's taking time for him to realize that himself. And that's perfectly okay.

He's going to be the best dad.