Tonight I decided to gather up a bunch of clothes I don't wear anymore, for whatever reason, and get rid of them. One of the items that was, without question, tossed into the pile was my favorite old pair of jeans. They're a size five, and no way is all this fitting into those. I kept adding to the pile and then when I was done I said to Josh, joking around, "I'm going to try these on." I wanted to see just how bad it was that they no longer fit. I couldn't believe the results. (See below!)
These were one of my favorite pairs of jeans my senior/freshman year of college. (My sister Tori stole the others when I got too big for them.) They're super comfy, faded, and worn just right. I loved them. I still do...I can only look at them, though. And what's the fun in that? Um. Nothing.
I particularly like this second shot, because you can see how much extra there truly is now.
I mean, SERIOUSLY? I practically have an extra butt. Just saying.
So I've decided that my new challenge for myself isn't to be a certain number, exactly. I still long for a smaller number, but I'm not going to rely so heavily on seeing that number. What I really want is to just fit into these old jeans again. Comfortably. I don't have a deadline for myself set yet. I'll be thinking about that one. For now what needs to happen is I need to just get to work!
My eating actually didn't improve this week. I think it may even have worsened! I'm really surprised, because I thought my plan would work, and it could've...I just didn't let it. I'm being my own worst enemy! I'll be honest with you guys...I can't believe how much Wendy's I've eaten lately. Seriously. I won't go into details. You'll kill me. I'm not even sure why I am. Convenience? Laziness? And with my sleep schedule being all sorts of crazy, I find myself eating at odd hours. I'm not sure what's wrong as far as my sleep goes. I kind of think I'm just not used to my new home yet.
And I haven't been working out AT ALL. I don't even think of it much, to be honest. Sometimes I think, 'Oh, my tennis shoes are in the car. I need to get those and start up again.' But then I don't go get them. And I'm really nervous to work out at our gym here. I know it's silly, but I'm just a little embarrassed. I'm afraid there will be really fit people in there and think I'm some big fat loser. That's stupid, I know. I just can't shake that thought! Have any of you ever felt like that...or am I just silly?
I'll be giving a full report in a few days. Thank you all for always being such a wonderful, lovely support system. I know I haven't really made any progress, but you guys being there, caring, and egging me on means so much. When something does breakthrough and the true changes happen, just know you guys will have been a HUGE part of that. I love you!