Thursday, August 5, 2010

my cute + tiny jeans.

Tonight I decided to gather up a bunch of clothes I don't wear anymore, for whatever reason, and get rid of them. One of the items that was, without question, tossed into the pile was my favorite old pair of jeans. They're a size five, and no way is all this fitting into those. I kept adding to the pile and then when I was done I said to Josh, joking around, "I'm going to try these on." I wanted to see just how bad it was that they no longer fit. I couldn't believe the results. (See below!) 

These were one of my favorite pairs of jeans my senior/freshman year of college. (My sister Tori stole the others when I got too big for them.) They're super comfy, faded, and worn just right. I loved them. I still do...I can only look at them, though. And what's the fun in that? Um. Nothing. 

I particularly like this second shot, because you can see how much extra there truly is now.
 I mean, SERIOUSLY? I practically have an extra butt. Just saying.

So I've decided that my new challenge for myself isn't to be a certain number, exactly. I still long for a smaller number, but I'm not going to rely so heavily on seeing that number. What I really want is to just fit into these old jeans again. Comfortably. I don't have a deadline for myself set yet. I'll be thinking about that one. For now what needs to happen is I need to just get to work! 

My eating actually didn't improve this week. I think it may even have worsened! I'm really surprised, because I thought my plan would work, and it could've...I just didn't let it. I'm being my own worst enemy! I'll be honest with you guys...I can't believe how much Wendy's I've eaten lately. Seriously. I won't go into details. You'll kill me. I'm not even sure why I am. Convenience? Laziness? And with my sleep schedule being all sorts of crazy, I find myself eating at odd hours. I'm not sure what's wrong as far as my sleep goes. I kind of think I'm just not used to my new home yet. 

And I haven't been working out AT ALL. I don't even think of it much, to be honest. Sometimes I think, 'Oh, my tennis shoes are in the car. I need to get those and start up again.' But then I don't go get them. And I'm really nervous to work out at our gym here. I know it's silly, but I'm just a little embarrassed. I'm afraid there will be really fit people in there and think I'm some big fat loser. That's stupid, I know. I just can't shake that thought! Have any of you ever felt like that...or am I just silly?

I'll be giving a full report in a few days. Thank you all for always being such a wonderful, lovely support system. I know I haven't really made any progress, but you guys being there, caring, and egging me on means so much. When something does breakthrough and the true changes happen, just know you guys will have been a HUGE part of that. I love you!



  1. i still have my favorite pair of old jeans with holes. i can still fit into them, but they're tighter than i'd like and not so comfortable because or the tightness. i really want to wear them again, but i also really want to keep eating cheese pizza!

    i think it's important not to focus on a number, because numbers aren't ultimately that important. i think the main thing is to get to a point where you just feel good about yourself. my motivation for getting on an exercise schedule was going to california in june, but once my woopie dog died on may 4th, i lost all motivation because i lost my exercise buddy. i ended up losing a few pounds and inches before he was gone, but most of all, i got to the point where i just felt so good about myself. i need to get back to that because i don't feel so good now!

  2. when I started working out I was 50ish lbs heavier than I am I for sure felt a little embarrassed when I went to the gym.
    Especially since my gym was on the Air Force base that I worked at and everyone else for the most part was in shape. But really I don't think anyone judges anyone by how they look at the gym, everyone is there for the same reason-to better themselves and be healthy!
    If anything I think people at the gym are too friendly!! I was always getting talked to and pulled away from my workouts! And people even gave me tips on workouts I might like.
    I got more comfortable going once I started planning what I was going to do before I got there and didn't walk around aimlessly. And listening to music that gets you pumped up helps too!! You'll be singing a long in your head instead of worrying about being embarrassed!!!
    I think its great that you're giving it another shot!!!

  3. don't get rid of them! you'll probably fit into the again. trust me. you'll be kicking yourself if you don't own them anymore.

  4. Danielle, that's how I feel. I want this, but I also want this! haha. I wish I could still eat like I used to. It was only a couple of years ago, but all of a sudden it just caught up with me!

    Sandy, thanks for the advice! You're the best. Glad I'm not the only one who's dealt with that. : )

    Jess, I'm definitely NOT getting rid of them. I'm going to get myself back into them!


  5. heck no, i don't mind. steal away-it's not like it will ever get used ;)

  6. its crazy how fast your body changes. i was the same weight i had been since i was sixteen and then BAM fifteen pounds out of nowhere. i think alot of it has to do with crazy schedules, crazy sleeping time, and bad eating because of the previous two. when i move back to my hometown in december one of my goals is to start eating better and working out--which will probably be alot easier when i dont have 20 hours of my day and 95% of my paycheck already gone!

    you can TOTALLY do it!!!!!!!!!


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