Thursday, August 26, 2010


The idea of being a foster parent has been weighing on me heavily as of late. I think about it constantly. (After that baby fever post the other day, you guys are probably going to think I'm some weird child hoarder. Not the case, promise.) I've even talked to Josh about it, but he's very unsure of it all. Totally understandable. I's a huge thing. Obviously. (With posts like these I wish I was a more eloquent blogger. My apologies.) You never know what kind of case you could end up with, and that could make for a REALLY tough child...a tough situation.
Then, there's the other matter of having to let the child go when it's time. Josh says he's not sure I could handle this, but I disagree. I mean, I think this is probably always a hard thing to do, especially if you've had adequate time to become "attached." I'm sure it's natural.
I just believe that children should have a place to be safe and loved, while they wait for their forever home. I mean...that's a given.

I just finished watching the most intense episode of Law & Order: Special Victims Unit. It actually triggered me writing this post. I've been thinking about it for awhile, but this episode completely, totally broke me. I won't go into all the gory details, but let's just say I've never cried so hard over a television show, and I haven't cried this hard in months. When I was watching it, I wanted to think 'Well, this is I'm sure they being a little over-dramatic.' But...if I'm being honest with myself I know this isn't the case. 
I'm just really, really angry. Really. Like, the world is so shitty. It's unreal. There's no better word than the "s word." (I never swear on this little guy.) 
I think a lot of the anger for me--other than nasty, disgusting people taking care of children--lies in the fact that it doesn't seem like the government really cares. Maybe I'm wrong. Maybe I just don't understand. I mean, I get that there are sooo many kids, an unbelievable amount. But I feel like the screening process of being able to be a foster/adoptive parent is toooo little. So many people are in it for the wrong reasons. They have no idea what they are getting themselves into, or they just don't care. And it pisses me off.

It's so unfair that there are children who have NO IDEA what love is. Love. They don't know how to trust or who to believe. I can't even really wrap my mind around it. How is that a reality? Are you kidding me?

So I'm praying for these kids...that God will love and keep them, bless them, protect them. Whatever your faith or beliefs, I just ask that you would pray/keep them in your thoughts, as well. 
I'm also praying that God will guide mine and Josh's hearts, to show us whether this is the right thing for us to do. (I feel that it is, but I know this is not only my decision.) 

This was a super heavy blog post. I'm not really ever like this...But this has been weighing on my heart for awhile now. I needed to vent. And talk to you guys. And ask questions!


Have any of your families ever done foster care? Have you? Were you in foster care?
Thoughts? Opinions?



  1. I never had foster children but I know people who have and have worked with both the children and Social Workers in Maine for a short period. When I worked with them I found that the case load that they carried was twice the amount that they should have. There was just no funding to get more case workers.
    The people that I've have known who had foster children went though mixed experiences. Some of the parents just didn't understand the emotional needs of the child or get that the child still acted out in the ways they did because that is the only life they knew. My sister-in-law has had 5 foster kids which she still sees and talks to on a daily basis.
    Good luck in your decision. You sound like someone who the foster care system needs.

  2. Sadly, I do know someone who only fostered a child for the money. She had her for a couple of years & then one day, she didn't. She doesn't even see this little girl anymore. Ever. I feel bad knowing this person who foster this child is a family member but what can you do, you know?

    If you & your husband decide to go with it, then I think you'd make a great foster mother. :D

  3. I think you would make a wonderful foster mom. Of course it would be hard, but what in life that is good isn't hard?

    Just really pray about it and ask God to lead your steps.

    That is amazing you have a heart for that.

    Happy Thursday!

  4. That would be such an amazing thing to do. My best friend is a social worker and she tells me about all of the amazing kids she visits with every day. More people should have a heart like you, Lydia. :)

  5. I am in love with this post. I want to foster down syndrome children when I am stable enough to support them the way they deserve it. :)

  6. One of my work colleagues was a foster parent for 20 years as well as having his own children. Almost all the children he got had behavioural problems but he still found it incredibly rewarding because he knew that the kids just needed love and a bit of discipline.
    I think you'd make a great foster mum. Although it would be hard to let go, I think you'd understand that it just has to happen and then be able to focus your energy on the next child that needs your help. It is awful that kids are brought into this world by parents who don't have a thought about how they should be raising them. x

  7. i have never been a foster parent but it is something I have always thought of, always something I have wanted to do. Best of luck, whatever you decide!

  8. there is a huge need for qualified, loving foster parents!so many foster parents get into it because of the extra money they receive, and neglect and abuse the children in their care. its so sad :(
    but just the fact tht you are considering it is great! youll make the right decision. just keep praying about it. if you decide not to, maybe you coujld volunteer somewhere?
    (i just got my degree and i am considering working for childrens services, but i know there are so many problems with our system i am having a hard time making my decision too!)

  9. I love SVU btw. Even when it makes me mad or sad.

    I work at residential treatment center. And they also do private adoption/foster home stuff.

    The kids who have the biggest problems don't go to just regular foster homes, they are at places like here so they can work on treatment or they have foster homes with people trained to deal with "troubled" kids. (one of my friends has 6 (!) kids with mental health diagnosis)

    They also do extensive training for you to deal with all the regular ups and downs of it. And how to let go of the children. I would think that you would be sad to see a child go, but that would be outweighed by the fact that they are being adopted, or growing up and you had a hand in making their life better. I have always wanted to adopt or foster because like you said there are so many kids who need love out there and I have a lot to give.
    Longest comment ever. ;)


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