The idea of being a foster parent has been weighing on me heavily as of late. I think about it constantly. (After that baby fever post the other day, you guys are probably going to think I'm some weird child hoarder. Not the case, promise.) I've even talked to Josh about it, but he's very unsure of it all. Totally understandable. I mean...it's a huge thing. Obviously. (With posts like these I wish I was a more eloquent blogger. My apologies.) You never know what kind of case you could end up with, and that could make for a REALLY tough child...a tough situation.
Then, there's the other matter of having to let the child go when it's time. Josh says he's not sure I could handle this, but I disagree. I mean, I think this is probably always a hard thing to do, especially if you've had adequate time to become "attached." I'm sure it's natural.
I just believe that children should have a place to be safe and loved, while they wait for their forever home. I mean...that's a given.
I just finished watching the most intense episode of Law & Order: Special Victims Unit. It actually triggered me writing this post. I've been thinking about it for awhile, but this episode completely, totally broke me. I won't go into all the gory details, but let's just say I've never cried so hard over a television show, and I haven't cried this hard in months. When I was watching it, I wanted to think 'Well, this is TV...so I'm sure they being a little over-dramatic.' But...if I'm being honest with myself I know this isn't the case.
I'm just really, really angry. Really. Like, the world is so shitty. It's unreal. There's no better word than the "s word." (I never swear on this little guy.)
I think a lot of the anger for me--other than nasty, disgusting people taking care of children--lies in the fact that it doesn't seem like the government really cares. Maybe I'm wrong. Maybe I just don't understand. I mean, I get that there are sooo many kids, an unbelievable amount. But I feel like the screening process of being able to be a foster/adoptive parent is toooo little. So many people are in it for the wrong reasons. They have no idea what they are getting themselves into, or they just don't care. And it pisses me off.
It's so unfair that there are children who have NO IDEA what love is. Love. They don't know how to trust or who to believe. I can't even really wrap my mind around it. How is that a reality? Are you kidding me?
So I'm praying for these kids...that God will love and keep them, bless them, protect them. Whatever your faith or beliefs, I just ask that you would pray/keep them in your thoughts, as well.
I'm also praying that God will guide mine and Josh's hearts, to show us whether this is the right thing for us to do. (I feel that it is, but I know this is not only my decision.)
This was a super heavy blog post. I'm not really ever like this...But this has been weighing on my heart for awhile now. I needed to vent. And talk to you guys. And ask questions!
Have any of your families ever done foster care? Have you? Were you in foster care?