30 Day Fitness Challenge: Update.

This is me being sad and disappointed, because as the picture states...

I have been a "lazy bones jones."

There's no other way to put it, really!

Honestly, I'm not even sure off the top of my head what day I'm on. 

That's really lame to me.

Before Josh and I moved I was working out everday, as hard as I could, for as long as I could.

And I really loved it!

It feels so good to put in a nice workout.

Then, the day before we moved was filled with packing and cleaning.

I was up until 3 a.m. working on that stuff alone.

I didn't put in a workout that day, but I didn't feel that bad about it, because I knew I'd get a good one in the next day. 

Then, the next day came, and I didn't do much.

We drove 4 hours to our new home, spent the day unpacking and getting settled in.

I told myself that was my workout because we live on the 4th floor with no elevator.

I was carrying so much stuff up and down. So I let that slide. 

The day after that, my in-laws came to town to bring us our furniture.

So my day was spent doing that, and just hanging out. 

I had forgotten my shoes at my in laws house, so I was glad to have those back and knew I'd start doing something the next day.

The next day came, and I didn't have socks. 

So obviously I couldn't wear my shoes without socks. Right?

Mhmm. (My eyes are rolling. I could've done something!)

The day after that I was fed up. And I was sick of not working out.

So I actually did do a little bit on this day.

I worked out for maybe fifteen minutes.

Five minutes doing a workout on Netflix that I hated.

Then doing some ab workouts and girl pushups.

That was Thursday.

And I haven't worked out since then. Today is Saturday.

I'm not really sure what exactly is wrong...

My body wants a workout!

But my brain just won't listen to her.

It's embarrassing to tell you guys this.

Really, it is.

Because I never wanted this to be like this.

I know we all have our slip-ups, but it's really frustrating, because I never want to fall back into my old ways. Never again!

My eating hasn't been that great, either.

Some days it's okay, some days it's great, some days it's atrocious.

It's so back and forth, up and down.

I hate to be letting myself down.

And there's this nagging question, "Then why don't you just stop?"

I'd love to know the answer.

I see myself going to get something to eat when I'm not even really hungry, or just eating because Josh is, or because I'm bored, or this or that. 

And I don't really know why.

I can hear myself saying, "Sure, I'll have some."

Even when I'm telling myself, You don't even really want any...

I have a hard time saying no. 

And another thing that's standing in my way, and part of the problem, is that I'm on a really horrible schedule right now.

It comes from not having a job currently, or any real demands.

Lately, I never wake up before noon, sometimes sleeping til 2 p.m.

That is insane! I hate sleeping late.

And it's throwing off my eating and working out, too.

Mostly my eating. Example:

I slept til 2 yesterday.

Awhile after I woke up, Josh got pizza, and I ate some.

I didn't for hours, and then I had some cherries.

Didn't eat for a long time, then I had a couple of bites of this nasty nacho stuff Josh made.

And even though I wanted real food, how did I end my night?

We made cupcakes and I ate two.

W T F. Really?

It's such a weird feeling to watch myself make these mistakes and just sit back and let it happen.

Like, I look at myself, and feel infuriated.

And then I just continue to add to the problem.

And I know that I can workout every single day, and eat super healthy, but when it comes down to it the real changes are going to start to happen when I finally discover what makes me act in this self-destructive way. 

I need a serious Jillian moment. 

I really hope that in the next few days I can do another update post that is actually on the level of where I want to be. 

Because this post....is certainly not it.