let's just say that february 24th was a pretty big day.
josh and i have been talking about getting married for months and months now.
and in the past couple of months we'd actually already started planning, even.
basically the only thing we didn't have was the engagement ring on my finger to make it "official."
so we picked one out.
and then it was my job to just wait.
which i was actually really, incredibly bad at, by the way.
i was too excited!
so, february 24th comes along:
i had to work all blessed day, until 10 pm.
josh has been being my chauffeur lately, so when he came to pick me up he came inside and was asking me if we had any sleep masks. at first i actually didn't get that he was wanting to use it on me.
and i was all, "YOU CAN BORROW CHLOE'S HIGH SCHOOL MUSICAL ONE. HAHA." (i'm so funny.)
he was like, "no, a black sleep mask."
then i sort of started to realize.
especially when he thought that tying black tights around his eyes was sufficient.
so i knew it was happening, but he still wanted it to be special.
first he had to put gas in the car, so we stopped and did that.
and while we were there got a couple of those giant pretzels and ate those first.
(oh, just about to be engaged, no big deal.)
then he blindfolded me and we set out on the adventure.
we drove for the longest time ever in the world.
we stopped and he pulled the blindfold off and handed me a card that said:
"where we met!"
it had a sweet little love note on the back, too.
josh was in a band back in the day called Cries Hannah.
they were pretty popular around here.
and my friend morgan was probably their biggest fan in the world.
so, basically, if it wasn't for morgan i never would have started talking to josh.
i'd had a crush from afar for the longest time, but i was way too shy.
and he'd had the same little crush, but he was the same way, i guess.
but on halloween night morgan and me drove to dexter to hang out with him for a little bit.
in the wal-mart parking lot.
so that is where we officially met.
and where i was like "so in love." ha. :)
this was my senior year of high school.
after this, josh and i texted a bit and we hung out a few times.
we never did anything except for drive around.
we barely even spoke to each other.
looking back it's so crazy to me, because now we don't shut up.
and we are beyond goofy and weird to each other.
like we're ultra embarrassing. :)
so thinking back to how it used to be is so funny.
he would ask me to hang out and we wouldn't even speak.
but, seriously, at that time...just being in his presence was such a wonderful thing for me.
it made me so excited that he just wanted to be around me.
so after wal-mart i was re-blindfolded.
we drove a little while more and stopped.
before he took the blindfold off, the music to carrie underwood's "so small" started playing.
we were at the park.
he gave me a little card that said:
"our first kiss!"
there was also a sweet note on the back of it. :)
we shared another kiss. (duh.)
and then i went to the park bathroom and josh had to hold the door open because there was no light in there and i was way too scared to go alone. HOW ROMANTIC.
josh and i didn't talk for a really long time before we started dating.
he texted me a couple of times, but i didn't really talk to him.
at the time, i was dating a really horrible guy, and i "wasn't allowed" to talk to other boys.
(stupid of me, but that's another story for another day.)
the last time i had talked to him was june 2008, at the last show at the venue he and his friend jason owned.
he and jason were moving to mississippi.
morgan and i took a picture of ourselves and gave it to them as a going away gift.
and that was the last time we talked for months and months.
when cory and i broke up, and josh found out, he started talking to me again.
at this time he was now living in new jersey and playing with the band I Am Alpha And Omega.
they were touring and would be coming to our hometown in just a couple of weeks.
in the time leading up to this stop, josh and i texted everyday and talked a little bit. but he's really bad at texting so it wasn't as much as i'd have liked to talk, but again, it was enough. :)
the day they got here i was so, so nervous.
and when we finally saw each other...josh didn't even really talk to me.
he gave me the awkward side hug.
and then throughout the night did that awkward thing where you're in the same room with a person, but you just text them.
i had made him a mixed cd he asked for and when i gave it to him that was pretty much the extent of our talking that day.
but he told me he was going to stay in town for the next couple of days and asked if i wanted to hang out.
obviously i did.
i drove to dexter, where he lived and we drove around and decided to go to the park and just sit and talk.
we talked for awhile and then there was this huge block of time where it was just quiet and we just sat there.
he was in the passenger seat and we were sitting facing each other.
i remember he had his hand on my headrest and i could see in a shadow that he was playing with my hair, but very subtly, so that i couldn't even feel it until i saw it in the shadow. it was so sweet.
i remember my heart was just racing, and i felt like i was on fire or something.
if that makes any sense.
josh asked me, "what are you thinking about?"
and i said, "you."
he grabbed my hand.
and then a second later, we kissed.
the rest is history!
(i don't actually get that saying, really. but it seems to fit here, so i said it. WHAT.)
we drove awhile longer and all of a sudden the terrain got super crazy and i was FREAKING OUT.
"OH MY GOSH. ARE WE ON WATER. ARE WE?!"
josh was obviously thinking i was an idiot. haha.
we stopped the car.
and we were sitting at a golf course.
apparently josh and jason used to come out there and tip over this port a potty every night.
also just realized that josh felt that this place would be perfectly fitting for our engagement....THANKS, DEAR.
(just kidding, it was wonderful.)
josh pulled out another card and it said:
"Where we got engaged!" and there was also a note on the back of it that he wouldn't let me look at yet.
he told me some nice, sweet things about how he loves me and such and then let me look.
"Will you marry me? check yes or no."
i checked yes and wrote, "duh. use your whale brains."
he gave me the rest of the tulips (there were tulips, i forgot to add.) and also the obvious, the ring. :)
josh is seriously such a great person, not just friend or boyfriend, but person in general.
he has the best heart and is the greatest man i have ever met.
i know people always say this, but he really does make me better.
my family all noticed that after we got together i was happier, nicer, better.
he takes care of me and truly loves me.
he's forgiven me for past things and doesn't even care about my past, either.
he's kind and generous.
and i'm so blessed to have him in my life. :)
since this is practically a novel anyway, i thought i'd include our first "i love you." in the story:
we'd only been dating about a month, but i'd been knowing i loved him for awhile.
you just know!
josh had moved to columbia to live for the summer with a friend, but he was back visiting for the weekend.
and the next day he was going back, and i was leaving for springfield to visit a friend.
we were sitting in my basement and i was so sad about us having to part ways again.
i hated being away from him.
i was crying and sad.
and then he said, "i love you."
i was so taken aback. i couldn't believe it.
i'm pretty sure i cried a little more and just hugged him, but i didn't say it back...
he got really upset and just wanted to leave but he wouldn't tell me why.
i was afraid to say it back because i was in love.
and i was afraid he loved me, but wasn't in love. so i was scared.
immediately after he left, i realized that this was dumb, and i couldn't care.
no matter how he felt, i just had to say it.
so i got in my car and i drove to his house in dexter.
and on the way there, we texted each other.
and i asked if he meant what he said.
and when i got there, i told him i loved him.
and we were happy.
he's been my best friend since day one and he will be forever.
also he is my whale.
(oh if you are wondering about the whale thing...the beluga whale is my favorite animal, and somehow we just started calling each other that. it has now evolved to where we are sort of an anomaly and we have whale brains and bear guts. it just happened. we are weird, but we know.)